Happy New Year.

Ok. This is going to be the sister post to the one below. So if your not intrested just stop reading now. I am going to say here and now. Me putting how I felt that night here. Wasn't the smartest thing I have ever done. But I tend to not think when I come on here to post. This is my sounding broad. Alot of people forget I don't tell everyone everything. And up until I was questioned by about 4 people on what happened that night with that situation. I was fine with it. I was having it repeated that took me to a new level of aggervation. If this offends people. I'm sorry. But I shouldn't have to appolgize for how I feel.

Not everyone sees things from the outside. Or from my way. I get that. But. If it was the other way and it was my dad just not doing something for the oldest there. She would have gotten on him. And I know you would have felt snubbed and hurt. Now that I've had about a week to mull it over. I know why and I understand. But the first shocks of it. It did hurt. But unlike most. I can put off thinking about things till I can relax and honestly think about it. I truely for a week asked my self what did i do to piss her off till i came to the conclusion. That I'm 23 and I just at this point shouldn't exspect something for christmas. Its just a sunden change. With pretty much no warning. That's why the emotion on it was intense. That's why I said what I said. End of story. I've said my sorry and given you the why's if you can't respect me now. That's fine. I've honestly lived through worst.

I don't want to be a role model or someone people look up to. But. That's not my choice because of where I was born and always told. April you can't act that way. All the younger ones look up to you. If they see you do it. They will think its ok... ect.

So let me reitorate this. This is my sound broad for whatever. If I'm happy its happy. If I'm upset. Again you get what you get the post below. But I'm not going to keep dredgeing this up. What's done is done. Can't take it back and I wont take back typing it because it helped me get my fustration out. end of story.

-April