So Jersey: One girl's tale from childhood to adulthood in the Gardenstate: Part 1

I thought i would start a little tale of me nothing overly spectacular but fun and maybe get some laughs and people reading along the way....


October 3rd 1985:


Eleven am I came screaming into the world. Pink wiggly and a head full of jet black hair. I wasn't quite right from the beging. I was a premie but i was no where near average premie size no I was the premie that was the size of a normal baby. My mom later told me I tired to come out about three times the last time being the last straw when I tried to be born in the K-Mart electronics center where she worked. This in my later years would make sence but we will get back to this right now its me pink and wiggly and they are putting thoughs wee little sunglasses on me. I forgot to say I was born yellow too. So they put the glasses on me put me in a tanning bed and I'm labled and given my blanky name band and my mom can now pass out. Poor woman worked really hard to get me. I'm her only child she never had anymore so she later collected my friends as her kids, this too would would cause conflict in use as mother and daughter. But for now i'm her number one number thirteen (that's how many miscarriages she had to get just one me. Some days you want to ask someone like her was I worth it, and I have she just smiles and tells me yes.)

The next thing my name is disputed by both partens the birth certificate says one thing my mom says another and my dad says yet another. It boils down to I was suposed to be April Luv Simons but was somehow changed to April Lynn Simons. My mom says it is now April Lynn Luv Simons and when pissed will say all four names at me and I will roll my eyes and call her Mary Lou. Next argument on my name is the origin. Mom says she had a dream the night my great grandfather died and that he told her she was to have a little girl and to name her April. Since she's from a line of gypsy's the name means something to her and the fact that April roughly means new birth so i guess I'm the new birth of the line of our family.

My dad on the other hand tells a totally diffrent side of the story. He knew i was a girl (were mom says he swore I was a boy and i kinda believe her but more on that later) and he wanted to name me April. Seeing as when I was born and it wasn't even the right month. Why he would think toi name me April the man isn't that creative. Trust me I'm pretty sure April was my mom's doing. He also states he wanted it to be APril Luv just like my mom but wont tell me why as where she will say it was to be named after the song. I've never heard the song. I really don't ever plan on it either. Otheres when told this will sing it to me and if these bad kereoke versions are anything to go by. I don't ever want to hear it.

The next few months are kinda not really known to me i figure i do the normal baby thing suck on mymom'boobs lepry. I was told i wasn't a very fussy baby. iguess they got lucky. I do know i looked misserable in a good 75%of the pictures I was awake for. and have been told by pelethat my Romainian/Welsh/ and Native American ass looked like a chinky baby by a kid i went to Art School with. I just think i looked pissed off.

Judge for yourself: